


Take a Breath

by orphan_account



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, I kinda regret this ngl, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mood Swings, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After being bullied for weeks with no end, Nagisa has had enough but what will happen when his teacher and classmates find out.
Relationships: Class 3-E & Shiota Nagisa, Kayano Kaede & Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Take a Breath

**Author's Note:**

> TW: References to an eating disorder, suicide, suicidal thoughts, and other potential triggers are included. Please read with caution! 
> 
> Anywho, I really hope you all enjoy this. It is my first time writing a story, much less a fanfiction. I'm all about that angst baby.

Nagisa had been walking towards the old school building, holding a few of his textbooks as he tried to avoid a particular couple of students who had been picking on him all month. But as luck would have it, he was stopped by the two boys. They slapped his things on the ground and tormented him. He tried to just go past him but they blocked his way. " What are you gonna do? Cry to mommy? Losers like E-Class don't deserve to be here. You should all just go die, it'd be better that way." Nagisa gave up trying to get away and just stood there, taking the abuse. " Hey we're talking to you!" One shouted and slapped the bluenet in the face. It stung. " Scrawny ass! You can't even defend yourself. Pathetic weakling! Go do everyone a favor and jump off a bridge of something!" 

His grip on the textbook trembled a bit as he thought, he couldn't do this. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was pathetic. The trembling grew, his muscles growing stiff. A buzzing began quietly in the back of his head. 

Every whisper was too loud.  
He could feel everyone's eyes on him, worried. 

His breathing turned ragged, his chest hurt. It felt like his chest was caving in on itself. Every breath rattled around, his hands started shaking. 

Everything was moving in slo-mo, colors flashing violently in front of his eyes. He could only make out small bits of what the two boys were saying. It seemed that other students had joined in but he didn't know who. Everything was loud. Why was it so loud? His head started to throb. The textbook fell from his hands as he covered his ears. It didn't help, why wasn't it helping? What was going on? Why- 

The buzzing grew, drowning out most things. He felt like he was going to vomit. Maybe he would go jump off a bridge. Maybe a slit on the wrists? Something to stopp the noises. He couldn't stand it, everything became too loud. Every sound hurt his ears.  
Everything was blurry, shaking. Was he the one shaking? He couldn't tell. He felt things touching him and flinched violently. The voices calling to him were faint and echoing in his head. Hot tears dripped down his face as his legs gave out on him. He began to fall, his classmates shocked cries echoing around as his vision went black and his mind faded. 

\-------

He was floating. His blue hair drifting in the only black void around him. 

' where was he...? '

It didn't matter. Nothing did. Here, he could be calm. No photos. No crowded rooms. It was peaceful. He took a breath and closed his eyes. Maybe if he just stayed here everything would be alright. 

But it wasn't. It never was, no matter how happy things seemed something would always come to ruin what he had. It was pointless. The black void he was in turned a blinding white. Nagisa exclaimed as he covered his eyes. The world around him started flashing bright colors at fast speeds.  
It hurt his eyes.  
It hurt.  
It hurt it hurtithurtithurtithurtITHURTITHURT. 

He squeezed his eyes shut but it didn't block out the colors. His head was spinning. It seemed like he was about to explode with every passing second. What happened to the calm black? He wanted it back. He would give anything to make it stop. He didn't even realize that he had begun to scream in the midst of it all. His head was tearing itself apart. He was going to die here.

\-------

The bluenette quickly sat up, his heart was beating faster than he thought it could and his uniform sweaty. He seemed to still be inside the school building, but he was laying on a couch with a thin blanket placed over top of him. He took a second to calm himself down, feeling the dried tears on his face from before. 

It was then he noticed voices from out in the hall, hushed and hurried whispers spoken between several parties.  
He tried to get on his feet but a wave of dizziness brought him back down onto the couch. He let out a frustrated whimper, he felt useless. He couldn't even stand up by himself. He made everyone worried. 

The urge to vomit again came back up, his hands began to tremble and tears formed at the edges of his eyes again, threatening to spill over. 

He gasped quietly as a weight was placed on his back. Koro-sensi took a seat in a separate chair nearby. 

After a minute of silence, Koro-sensi spoke up, " We we're all worried about you Nagisa. Isogai and Nakamura were nearby, heard the bullies, and went to investigate when they found you about to pass out. Isogai carried you up the mountain to the classroom. How are you feeling?" 

Nagisa placed a hand on his face and he looked down, " I.... I'm fine.." he said, " Really," even giving a smile to further prove his point. But he and Koro-sensi knew that it was fake. 

Koro-sensi sighed, " Nagisa. We're all here for you. If you ever need to talk, we're all willing to lis- " 

" I SAID I'M FINE," Nagisa snapped. Rage in his eyes as he glared at the teacher before mellowing out and looking back down, " Sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. "

The look on the teacher's face was one of sadness, almost pity. Nagisa hated it.

" Can you just leave me alone for a while?" He asked. 

His teacher got up, " Of course, if you need anything come get me or one of your classmates," he said before leaving the room. Immediately voices began to harass the teacher, most likely the other students. 

He tuned out the voices, and curled into a ball. He didn't want to face the others right now. He could imagine their faces, the overwhelming look of pity. It stained this brain, he couldn't get rid of that image. Everyone he cared for, all giving him the one thing he hated most. 

He knew he was weak and scrawny. Everytime someone looked at him with that expression just reminded him more of his battered body. He hated every inch of himself. He wished it away, to disappear but it never did.  
It was there while he was sitting on the couch that his mind wandered. Back to the bullies, to what they said. If he did in fact, commit suicide, he wouldn't have to think anymore. Not that anyone would care. All his classmates probably thought he was burden to begin with. He couldn't stand up for himself, he couldn't hold himself in a fight one on one. 

It was there he decided what he would do.

\------

He spent the majority of the day in the teacher's lounge, which he later learned that was were he was taken, only coming out at the end of the day after he was sure he could go home on his own. He left a note saying goodbye and that he would miss them and that he was sorry before he quickly left, not wanting to run into anybody as he did. He didn't think he could stand to see the worried looks on his classmate's faces when he was headed towards where he was going. It would only make things more painful.

He ran home, quickly unlocking his house door and slamming it behind him. He slid down the down and struggled to catch his breath. Thankfully his mother wasn't yet home so he had time to himself. His stomach growled as he passed the kitchen but the thought of eating anything right now disgusted him. He steadied himself and got up to head to his room. He wrote his mother a similar note to the one in the teacher's lounge before. He wrote about how he was sorry and he said goodbye and that he loved her before tucking it into the bed so that she would find it easier. He gave one last sad look at his room before closing his door and leaving the house. 

He was just so tired of being pushed around. So tired of being weak and pathetic. It was too late to recover, today proved that. He just wanted an out. 

The sun was setting by the time he got to the bridge on the outskirts of town. It overlooked a long drop onto a fast flowing river. Surely this would do the trick. He leaned against the railing. Hands on his face as he smiled up at the setting sun. He soaked in the warmth of the sunlight and took a breath. 

This was it. 

An escape. 

This was how he could finally be rid off the torment and abuse. He couldn't let anyone down if he was dead. 

Nagisa climbed above the side and stood on the edge, the only thing preventing him from falling was his grip to the wooden railing. He stared below him for a minute before taking another breath.

" I'm sorry I couldn't do better everyone," hot tears rolled down his pale face as he smiled and let go of the railing. " Forgive me," he said happily as he fell down, down, down into the black and quiet void. 

\------ 

It hurt. 

Nagisa tried to take a breath but only inhaled water. His eyes widened and he struggled to pump his legs to bring him back to the surface. His lungs were screaming for air, and something had to have been broken. 

He finally broke the surface and took a deep gulp before being pushed roughly back down into the cold water. The fast flowing water pulled him along and constantly pushed him under as soon as he broke the surface. He knew it. He was going to die after all. This is what he wanted right? Right?! No. No. No. No. No. It couldn't end like this. He still had to assassinate Koro-Sensei with his classmates! He still had to make do with his mom! He still had to do so much! 

As he rose to the surface again be cried out, " I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" 

He fell under once more, his body exhausted. ' I.. I don't think I can pull myself back up.' 

He sunk further into the water, his limbs numbing to the icy water. His lungs were screaming for air, but he had none to give. He was about to give up hope when he was suddenly hoisted from the water.  
As soon as he was placed on land he felt several pairs of hands working to rid him of the cold, wet clothing and wrapping him in a blanket. 

\--------

He didn't process what exactly happened but the next time he awoke was in a hospital bed. An IV dripping fluids into his malnourished body. His gaze flicked around the room to find most of his classmates sitting around, some sleeping, some chatting, some doing other things. Kayano was right by his side and gasped as he awoke. " Nagisa! You're awake!" She had to keep herself from jumping onto the poor boy. At Kayano's exclamation the whole class immediately swarmed the bed. Everyone fighting to be heard. " Quiet!" Nakamura yelled, silencing everyone collectively. " One at a time!" 

" Nagisa, you scared us all!" Isogai sighed. " Yeah bro, we were all out around the town looking for you!" Okajima joined in. 

" We contacted your mother, but she said that she couldn't get away from work but she'll try as soon as she can," Okuda said shyly, " The hospital staff tried to stop all of us from entering but I think Terasaka scared them off for now." 

' They actually went out and looked... for me...?' Nagisa thought a dumb expression on his face. 

" Don't give us a dumb look! What did you expect us to do?" Hazama said nonchalantly. 

" I..I... I'm sorry.." Nagisa sighed, tears once again forming at the edges of his eyes. " F..for making y..you all worry." 

" Tch.. You're an idiot," Terasaka growled, pushing his to the end of the bed, " Sorry doesn't do anything! Instead do us all a favor and let us help you get better!" 

A round of ' Yeahs! ' and cheers went through the crowd of students. 

Nagisa stared at his classmates in bewilderment. Tears not of sadness, but of happiness streamed down his face. " Yeah.. okay," he said between laughs. 

A gust of wind ran through the room and Koro-Sensei had arrived. The aura radiating off of him was horrid. His face was black and the entire class flinched back when he arrived. " Nagisa," his voice dripped vemon, " As your teacher it is my job to educate you and protect you. 

He grew closer, and closer, until he was right next to the bed, my classmates stayed clear of him. 

He suddenly turned blue with tears streaming down his face, " NAGISA! I WAS SO WORRIED WHEN YOU LEFT WITH JUST A NOTE! I WAS SCARED WE WOULDN'T FIND YOU IN TIME!" 

We all began to giggle at the crying mess that was our teacher, " HEY! THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER!" 

He believed it was nice for everyone to be here, all of the despair he had bottled up finally was let out.

\-------

It started to getting later and most of my classmates had left, only Kayano and Koro-Sensei were still here. 

" Ah, I gotta go! It's super late, I'll come by tommorow to check on you Nagisa, okay?" And with that, Kayano swept out of the room. Leaving behind Nagisa and Koro-Sensei. 

The silence was awkward, uncomfortable, so nagisa was glad when Koro-Sensei broke it. " Nagisa.." he sighed, at least his normal yellow hue was back. " If you don't mind me asking.. what exactly happened this morning..?" 

Nagisa inhaled sharply. He'd rather not talk about it but it probably was inevitable. He began to speak but his voice failed him. 

" I.. It's alright Nagisa, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

The bluenette's hands clenched in the hospital's bed sheets, " No. No, I'll tell you. It's just a little hard, ya know.." He paused and took a breath to calm himself. 

" I was walking through the main campus to head towards the school building when two of the main campus students started to pick a fight with me. It's always the same two. They don't leave me alone, and... I'm not strong enough to defend myself. I.. I don't eat right.. I'm not as strong as other kids my age. I know it's not good. Kayano knows, but that's about it. I don't tell my mom, I don't want her to flip out again... But that's why Kayano usually pairs up with me in PE, she goes easy on me, I appreciate it what she does for me. It means a lot," tears began to pool in his eyes, " I'm trying to get better I really am, but it's hard. I can't help but think about how I let everyone down so often because of how weak I am. I couldn't protect anyone if they're life depended on it. So I figured, I was better off gone. I was just a burden. And so.." he trailed off, the tears silently falling down his face again. 

Koro-Sensei lifted a tentacle and wiped his face, " When you look at your classmates, you see a team right? Well you're a part of that team as well. Without you, a critical part of that team is missing," he smiled warmly at the boy, " Nagisa, you aren't a burden or a weakling. If anything, you are strong. Stronger than most. Believe in yourself. If you want, me and the other teachers can cover for you if you ever need to leave or be excused from class due to your 'condition'. We're going to help you Nagisa, if you want it or not. And I will personally make sure that those boys learn a lesson. "

Nagisa smiled through the tears, and nodded. " I.. I'd like that. Thank you Koro-Sensei- " 

A nurse knocked on the door and walked into the room, " Visiting hours are ending, I'm going to have to ask you to wrap up this conversation and leave the building within a few minutes," she vowed politely and left the room. 

" Well.. I guess I'll take my leave. If you ever need to contact anyone, there's a phone in here and we all wrote down our numbers for you," Koro-Sensei said, standing up and heading towards the door. 

" Thank you Koro-Sensei," the bluenette replied. 

" We're all rooting for you Nagisa, I'll come by tomorrow with your homework and some review work. Goodnight" 

' Wow, even in the hospital he still makes us work.' Nagisa thought to himself tiredly. 

" Goodnight Koro-Sensei." 

And then he was alone. But.. not truly. 

For once he went to bed with a comforting feeling rather than a lonely one. 

He took a breath and relaxing into the bed. His eyelids felt heavy and he dropped them and he fell into a peaceful sleep. 

Tommorow promised a better day.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan on writing more for different fandoms based on what I'm feeling some other time. Suggestions are nice!
> 
> Constructive criticism and comments are highly appreciated! 
> 
> See y'all next time :>


End file.
